30.08.19 | If you have enough money, you can have a key made

By Bryna Howes 5 August 2019 2 min read

Every Thursday at Spaceship we have what is called a Town Hall meeting. We all get together as a team and discuss the latest goings on: what’s working, what’s not, and so on.

Afterwards, there are drinks and food. And it’s a bit of a gabfest.

The chatter ranges from politely combative (such as when we discussed who was the greatest tennis player of all time) to strangely agreeable (such as when we all agreed that “hire fast, fire fast” was one of the worst hiring mottos of all time).

Now, on the latter: last week we were comparing our worst job-seeking experiences. We shared the barmy questions we’ve each been asked in interviews. We talked about whether you should inform your current employer if you start looking elsewhere. We touched on everything.

At some point, someone proffered this phrase: “I couldn’t afford to get fired.”

To which I said: “That’s why you need a f*ck off fund.”

To which my colleagues chuckled.

The idea of a f*ck off fund is not mine. The phrase itself has been around for at least four years — ever since this article was published — but the sentiment is a classic. A fck off fund, nay an emergency fund, is your get-out-of-jail-free card. It’s a must-have.

As late, great comedian Joan Rivers said: “People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made”

A f*ck off fund is something that would have come in handy at my first job when I would spend Friday afternoons ordering stock while listening to the managers in the next room make lewd jokes about the women they worked with (including me). Imagine the freedom of being able to glide out of the room, announce my resignation, and vamoose.

It’s something that might have come in handy if I had wanted to flee London and return to Australia after the tube bombings in 2007.

It’s something that did come in handy when I became chronically ill a few years back.

It’s something that was even handier for a friend of mine who had to leave her ex behind, return to Australia, and start her entire life over post-divorce.

You see, if you have built up a f*ck off fund, you’ll likely have choices when the wheels fall off. (Maybe literally when the wheels fall off. That could happen!) And with choice comes an amount of freedom. It means if you get fired, it might not be the undoing of your finances. It means if you need to leave a painful situation, you might be able to make like a tree and leave.

If you do a search on Google for your new favourite phrase, you’ll likely find that the recommended amount of money to save in your f*ck off fund is enough that you could feasibly maintain your current lifestyle for three months.

To which we say: great. More power to you if you’ve reached that goal.

But if not, don’t despair. Just start saving. With every dollar you put away, you buy yourself the freedom of choice down the line. That’s essentially priceless.

Words by
Bryna Howes Right Chevron

Bryna Howes is a content producer at Spaceship. She's equally obsessive about cinnamon donuts and scouring the web for great reads. And weirdly, she has one blue eye and one green eye.

30.08.19 | If you have enough money, you can have a key made